流浪

欧卖尴，这个念头又来了，我还记得当年中六要去听《琵琶语II》的时候（请阅《琵琶语II》），因为发生了一些事情，那一阵子也是有很强烈的要去流浪的念头。
带着乐器去流浪，做街头艺人，也就是因为这个念头的关系，我写了一部小说，《音·梦》。
现在我学了更多乐器，应该更容易找吃吧？呵呵。
暂时离开这里，只过着演奏的生活，哪怕看起来是这么的卑贱，自由自在就好。
果然好像萝莉所说的吗？“你是时候沉淀自己啦~~找个时间好好休息，听有声书、平静的音乐、讲座或者到寺庙去参拜都是不错的选择。”
哼…… 我记得之前中六毕业后也是有这个念头……去听讲座什么的。啊对，歌曲创作营。当时有幸见到歌星啊！
是啊，应该找些可以丰富心灵的活动才对，感觉上我的心灵好像枯萎了好久，好干…… 难怪会想逃跑……

Falling Down.

First time take a sick leave.... Normally when I sick I still go to work, so just now I got go to work, later I suppose need to go to another centre to teach, then I saw my violin teacher, he said, 'You look much worse than yesterday, why don't you rest at home?'
At first I said, 'No, because if I want to take a leave, and that centre if manage to find a replacement teacher, I need to deduct my salary.'
'The fee of the following performance can recover your salary lah, just rest at home.'
'OK......'
But actually when I wake up early in the morning, I was crying, 'NO!!! WHY NEED TO WORK!!??' So I finally take a sick leave.... =.="
Started this year, I always crying, 'I don't feel like want to work today.... ZZZ....' Don't know why..... Haiz.....
Feel like everything so heavy, and I can barely breathe, and then I started don't know what I want, because of this I feel like my life so depress....
I wish I can hibernation for one year, then after one year I will start my life over again, I wish to run away from reality, I wish I can hide at somewhere where everyone cannot find me. So tired, every time I am the one who manage all the things, can someone help me manage too? Too tired to carry everything.
Now I break up already, and my parents keep blaming me because I have hurt him.... I just don't know what I want.... They said why don't you cool down with him, maybe only meet each other after a few months, maybe can solve your problem, you too impulsion(don't know this is the correct word or not). They said I don't know how to endure.
I really don't know what I want, stop asking me why break up, I break up because I don't know what I want, I already lost my direction, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT..
Feel like so selfish, always hate to explain.... so what they ask, what they said, even though that is not the correct answer, but I just admit it. I know maybe I will produce a bad image to the others, because this behavior can categorized as lying, but I think that explain is a tiring thing. So maybe there is some misunderstood, which I think cannot turn back anymore, so don't ask me that maybe I can get back to him..

Yesterday I watch 'Titanic' at TV, first time watch it start from beginning, because I always watch it when the ship started sinking. And I never thought to watch it because my mum always said it is a boring movie. But yesterday when I watch until the ship sink, it is actually a nice movie.
So this proves that what MUMS' SAID can affect a child so much more. I don't know maybe this relationship might be affect by my mum, every time something big happen to us, she always said don't let him know first, gradually, maybe because of that, I thought that maybe something no need to tell him, gradually again, everything don't tell him. This few days I always felt that I can live perfectly fine if I alone. Ya, I really need to cool down.... still need time to deal with my mentality.

食言

对不起，到最后我食言了。
其实从《爱情的坟墓》开始，我已经动摇了，我写那篇文章的时候是尽最大的努力逼自己积极，但是其实当时我发布后、看回去，我觉得我已经变了，我有可能会做不到。
对不起，我不够努力，我变心了，我想一个人冷静，我想看看外面的世界。
你一直说你会把自己改变成我觉得好的人，请不要为了一个人而改变你自己，因为有可能你会变成不是自己，只要你觉得对你好的，就可以了。所以真的，也不要等我了，我觉得一对情侣分开后是不可能会再回一起。
对不起……

说走就走

最近都一直在迁就人，好烦，好累，难得我假期，所以才特地安排"准备好就出发"的逛街计划，一个人，不用迁就别人的时间，一个人，不需要听别人的意见选电影看，如果没有适合的电影，就一个人唱k吧，反正都没有人跟我抢麦克风。
但是为什么你要一直问我几点？看什么戏？故事说什么？全部都是未知，一直问，很烦的你懂吗？人家就是要去放松你就先唠叨了。
我现在都几岁了，难道得空不代表别人也得空，如果每次都要等到有朋友也得空才一起出去，我早都情绪崩溃了，就你从来都不懂。
如果你真的很有意见，那我倒不如不要出去，要出个门都要搞到自己那么压力，还出门干嘛。

SHOWTIME

对！昨天就是那场表演，SHOWTIME!
地点是在Jaya One，由于没有去过肯定是担心到半死，加上没有人载，好在新的电话能开GPS！要不然真的不知道怎么办好，不过我去这些地方是喜欢认地标和看路牌，所以在之前有到处去问人到底怎么去这里，当得知是很靠近Mid Valley后我还安心少少。
由于要避免塞车和找泊车位，院长是建议我们早早到然后在那里享用午餐，表演是两点开始，但是我们最好十二点到，吃了午餐，然后要等到一点集合，才开始表演。
我们是第一场表演，一到一点就开始要排队在那里等上场，漫漫长的一小时真的很难过…… 好在有人找我聊天，要不然真的很难过……
第一支曲是Pirates of The Caribbean，我是负责钢琴伴奏，由于场合的关系，我是弹电子琴的。当乐团开始调音的时候，钢琴应该负责给他们那个音调，但是我一按下去的时候，欧卖尴，没有声音…… =.="
我看了四周围，工作人员都没看过来（郁闷）…… 怎么可以这样！？表演都要开始了怎么会没有想到要开电！？所以Pirates of The Caribbean上半段是没有钢琴的声音…… 我本来很紧张的，但是发生这样的事情后，我是很失落一下……
后来终于开电了，当时那段我是休息的，轮到我要弹一个和弦时，因为又预测不到声量会是怎样，所以那个和弦可以说是吓死全场人包括我……  呃…… 没办法，姐弹惯了三角钢琴……
我有一位学生有来捧场，他说，所以那后半段，钢琴的声音就这样盖过全部人的声音了……
后来小提琴表演，Frozen Medley、跟小孩子拉的Ode To Joy、Twinkle Twinkle Little Star、最后再多一场钢琴伴奏贝多芬第五首交响曲，都没有问题。
本来表演贝多芬交响曲就要走了，就跟钢琴老师打声招呼，不会驾车的他问我有什么节目，“不就回家呗。” “因为我本来想约朋友吃饭，他没有回我。” 顿时明白发生什么事“你等下怎样回？” “没有人载咯。” “那我和你吃饭就顺便载你回啦。” 就这样我等到演奏会完全结束了才和老师一起吃晚餐（他的午餐）。可怜，忙到没得吃。
由于不熟悉Jaya One，Jaya One好像Mid Valley这样还有分The Garden，Jaya One就是The School，我们是在The School表演，但是来有点匆忙，所以是在Old School吃午餐（The School没什么东西吃），后来我的学生说应该过去Jaya One The Square那里，有很多东西吃的，所以表演后我跟老师去那里瞧瞧。
钢琴老师知道这里有一间西餐厅有很多分行，叫The Bee，就想说尝尝，然后经过询问下才知道在哪里，一绕了过去，原来我四年前来过这里…… 因为PJ Live Art就在The Bee的楼上，四年前我跟小提琴老师来这里看The Pluck的演奏会，当年也是和老师来The Bee吃晚餐…… =.=" 也就是说原来我来过Jaya One！！

这次的表演要求服装是Polo Tee，人生中没有为自己买过Polo Tee，除了人家给的还有学校学会的，结论：在我印象中Polo Tee就是大大件的，加上有领，所以觉得超丑。
所以当知道表演要穿到这样的时候有少少的崩溃，为什么要Polo Tee！！？？但是其实去买的时候才知道如果那个裁剪是适合我的身材，Polo Tee是可以很好看的，就这样爱上了Polo Tee！<3 p="">

是不是很美~？其实这次我也是觉得怎么我这么美~？XD 这次是有自恋的成分，哈

左一的跟我撞衫！也是同牌呢！Body Glove叻~~

！