2014年2月24日星期一

Desperate time

There is one time I felt very desperate, I so stress with not only love and also career. I got once wrote at here about there is a violin teacher ask me to do something, normal...... =.=" But because of her attitude, she made me felt that I'm doing something wrong.
Sometimes I do feel sad when there is a few students stop at my aunt's centre, because at that time, I only work at there and the salary of a few students is quite much, so when they stop, my salary will become lesser...... Of course I sad not because of money only, also because of the relationship between them.
And then last year, especially when I work at 3 centres, I don't really care if my students stop, because the salary is enough for me, and then too much students and their lesson time so short, I cannot focus to build up relationship with them.
But starting this year...... I'm not only got "fired", at PS there many students stop too, so the number of students like left half only....... Some more I still got 2 complains...... Really feel frustrated....... Grrr.......
About the first one...... I did do that accidently, so when my boss told me that the parent is complaining,  I felt guilty, I felt very angry and some more I hate the student for a while, but this few days I feel better, and try to accept it. But when my boss told me, she was on my side.... Haha~ Because she thought that the parent also got problem.....
Then the second one when my boss told me, I felt nothing, because this time I didn't do it, but later on I felt angry too because felt like being wronged. My mum asked me to explain to the family of the student, said that they should know the truth before blame me, but this time I will handle it like the first one, I will do what they have complaint, and do what I need to do, no need explain, no need revenge(I got plan to revenge...... =.=" childish minded......), if they still think I'm wrong, what's the big deal? If they want to change teacher, change, I don't mind.
It's not the first time I lost my student, I'm being through this tough time NOW and I don't need to care if you don't like my teaching way, anyway after this tough time, this really not a big deal.
I also got students choose me ONLY to teach them too, how wrong I could be?
About this second complain, my boss also ask me whether I got problem with them, because this is first time got people complain this issue on me, so? Guess who wrong?
Actually I don't like to teach those students who have complain me before..... Because after they complain, they might have the bad image of me in their mind, and maybe every time they meet me, they will think:"Is this horrible teacher again." And I still need to force to smile at them......
So sometimes, the relationship of teacher and student maybe will like the relationship of valentines..... Like after break up, it really felt awkward when we meet each others again......
This is what I feel.... Maybe I put too much feeling on my students..... Because once I ask my friend when she quit her job, does she feel willing to quit it, she just said that she very busy, she had to, so there is not about willing or not.
But for me, even though I already have planned my future, I also feel unwilling to quit my job.....


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